Burnout

http://www.polygon.com/2016/6/1/11820966/fable-crunch-microsoft

Working on Fable destroyed my life, but I don't regret it

Crunch is brutal for any amount of time. Even a few days of extended hours can cause all kinds of psychological and physiological changes.

The effects it has on the mind and body can be devastating when the crunch is measured in months. Some people may say they thrive on stress, but I don’t think anyone can come out of the kind of experience we had with Fable without suffering.

A pattern emerged in my days during this period. Get up, get washed and dressed, wash down a couple of caffeine tablets with some strong coffee, pick up a red bull, a coke and some cereal bars on my way into the office. Once at work I’d be at my desk non-stop; all meals would be eaten at my desk, though sometimes I’d not eat at all. When I did eat, it would usually mean a sandwich from the supermarket for lunch. Work would often provide dinner, invariably takeout. Sugary caffeinated drinks and sweets would sustain me for the rest of the time.

Eventually I’d give up for the day and go home, where I’d go straight to bed and hope that I’d get at least some sleep before the cycle started again — but unfortunately, caffeine, sugar and stress would make any rest difficult and fitful. Days were a minimum of 12 hours long. We worked six to seven days a week. Days off, if they came, would be spent using what little energy remained to deal with the details of living — shopping, cleaning and the rest of the mundane details of keeping yourself alive.

Every day at work would be the same. My computer would wake up displaying the same file I had open when I went home. Often it was the only file I’d be looking at for days on end. I would try to figure out why nothing was working as it should be, or I would try to get my head around how I could implement some feature or other.

The worst were the bugs that refused to be solved: The bugs where the code looked like it should work, but for some reason things wouldn’t display as intended — nothing I’d do seemed to make the slightest difference.

Some days I’d make exactly zero progress on anything. I’d even resort to random code changes in the vain hope that prodding the code in the right place would cause the bug to fix itself. Hitting my head against the keyboard might have proven more productive. My brain power was essentially zero. I’d used up all my reserves and had no way to replenish them.

THE COMPANY I’D JOINED WAS GONE, ALONG WITH MANY OF THE THINGS I HAD LOVED SO MUCH.

Day after day, week after week, month after month, it was all just the same endless hours of exactly the same patterns. It was all but impossible to distinguish one day from the next. Even my dreams would be about work. At times I don’t know if I had imagined something or if it had actually happened.

I barely saw anyone outside of work. I had neither the time nor the energy to be social. Family events were missed: weddings, births and birthdays ... everything. I didn’t cut my hair or shave for months at a time. In some ways I count myself lucky that I had no partner nor family of my own. Those that did would be hard-pressed to see them, let alone spend much time with them. On the other hand, the support might have been helpful.

The consequences for the team were dire. Relationships were being tested to the breaking point, and a great many of the team were on medication for stress-related illnesses, myself included. General chatter in the office faded off, and smiles were replaced by pained grimaces.

The consequences for me were devastating. I was briefly prescribed anti-psychotics at my lowest point. I experienced migraines, complete with terrifying tunnel vision, blackouts, severe depression, anxiety, panic attacks, paranoia, hallucinations and thought insertion.

I ended up having to take some time off for my illness in the middle of it all. I just couldn’t cope. Sadly, though, even the time I ended up taking off didn’t help much. I was too consumed by guilt over the team struggling on without me.

I’m amazed I survived.

Ja bi pukla da sam počela fakat ko programer radit. Dok sam izrađivala male aplikacije skoro uopće ne bi spavala dok ne zgotovim, a nekad danima ni makac zbog sintaksne greškice. A kuća usrana, a ručak zagoren...
Problem je što ne možeš izić iz tog tripa..opsesija. pogrameri ko đankoze

frakcija wrote:Ja bi pukla da sam počela fakat ko programer radit. Dok sam izrađivala male aplikacije skoro uopće ne bi spavala dok ne zgotovim, a nekad danima ni makac zbog sintaksne greškice. A kuća usrana, a ručak zagoren...
Problem je što ne možeš izić iz tog tripa..opsesija. pogrameri ko đankoze

programerka u sinjskoj pustopoljini,
u jednoj ruci tipkovnica, a s drugon guli kunpir, mišo šug, peglo mužu trliš i smremo dicu za u skulu?

no burnout possible

aben wrote:

frakcija wrote:Ja bi pukla da sam počela fakat ko programer radit. Dok sam izrađivala male aplikacije skoro uopće ne bi spavala dok ne zgotovim, a nekad danima ni makac zbog sintaksne greškice. A kuća usrana, a ručak zagoren...
Problem je što ne možeš izić iz tog tripa..opsesija. pogrameri ko đankoze

programerka u sinjskoj pustopoljini,
u jednoj ruci tipkovnica, a s drugon guli kunpir, mišo šug, peglo mužu trliš i smremo dicu za u skulu?

no burnout possible

Ja ti pivan po supermarketima s radiom, imam i korografsku točku s kolicima na odjelu toaletnog papira (da štogod ne razbijem). Tako izbacujem stres i zabavljam kamere..već su navikli..

čitanje frakcijinih postova liječi od burnouta

kic wrote:čitanje frakcijinih postova liječi od burnouta

Općenito sam stekla dojam da se bankari rješavaju stresa na najbizarnije načine.

slusam

ne znam sto bih rekao, jel funkcionira bar taj povratak u infantilnost?

frakcija wrote:Ja bi pukla da sam počela fakat ko programer radit. Dok sam izrađivala male aplikacije skoro uopće ne bi spavala dok ne zgotovim, a nekad danima ni makac zbog sintaksne greškice. A kuća usrana, a ručak zagoren...
Problem je što ne možeš izić iz tog tripa..opsesija. pogrameri ko đankoze

Zašto bi pukla? Nije usisano, prašina obrisana, veš opeglan?
Šta je to prema onom osjećaju kad možeš reći problem fixed ?

kic wrote:
A pattern emerged in my days during this period. Get up, get washed and dressed, wash down a couple of caffeine tablets with some strong coffee, pick up a red bull, a coke and some cereal bars on my way into the office. Once at work I’d be at my desk non-stop; all meals would be eaten at my desk, though sometimes I’d not eat at all. When I did eat, it would usually mean a sandwich from the supermarket for lunch. Work would often provide dinner, invariably takeout. Sugary caffeinated drinks and sweets would sustain me for the rest of the time.

Eventually I’d give up for the day and go home, where I’d go straight to bed and hope that I’d get at least some sleep before the cycle started again — but unfortunately, caffeine, sugar and stress would make any rest difficult and fitful.

The consequences for me were devastating. I was briefly prescribed anti-psychotics at my lowest point. I experienced migraines, complete with terrifying tunnel vision, blackouts, severe depression, anxiety, panic attacks, paranoia, hallucinations and thought insertion.

zvuči kao loša ishrana, nedostatak nutrijenata i nedostatak tjelovježbe, a ne nešto uzrokovano određenom vrstom posla

Triny wrote:

frakcija wrote:Ja bi pukla da sam počela fakat ko programer radit. Dok sam izrađivala male aplikacije skoro uopće ne bi spavala dok ne zgotovim, a nekad danima ni makac zbog sintaksne greškice. A kuća usrana, a ručak zagoren...
Problem je što ne možeš izić iz tog tripa..opsesija. pogrameri ko đankoze

Zašto bi pukla? Nije usisano, prašina obrisana, veš opeglan?
Šta je to prema onom osjećaju kad možeš reći problem fixed ?

gomila se stres ukućana koji traže pažnju, a meni osjećaj krivnje, dezorjentirana u vremenu i prostoru..briga njih što ja rješavam, ako im to neće donijet novac kojim ću barem platit spremačicu.

frakcija wrote:

Triny wrote:

frakcija wrote:Ja bi pukla da sam počela fakat ko programer radit. Dok sam izrađivala male aplikacije skoro uopće ne bi spavala dok ne zgotovim, a nekad danima ni makac zbog sintaksne greškice. A kuća usrana, a ručak zagoren...
Problem je što ne možeš izić iz tog tripa..opsesija. pogrameri ko đankoze

Zašto bi pukla? Nije usisano, prašina obrisana, veš opeglan?
Šta je to prema onom osjećaju kad možeš reći problem fixed ?

gomila se stres ukućana koji traže pažnju, a meni osjećaj krivnje,  dezorjentirana u vremenu i prostoru..briga njih što ja rješavam, ako im to neće donijet novac kojim ću barem platit spremačicu.

Zbog čega osjećaj krivnje? Jer poštuješ rokove pa je netko "zakinut" za pažnju?! Pa ne sjediš po kafićima.
I ne zaradiš toliko da platiš spremačicu? Brine li se još netko u kući što ne zaradi za spremačicu?

haha
feministička propaganda; frakcija, pazi pamflet!

aben wrote:haha
feministička propaganda; frakcija, pazi pamflet!

ma nije..kad bih odgovorila, dodatno bih se iskompromitirala..zato mučin :p

frakcija wrote:

aben wrote:haha
feministička propaganda; frakcija, pazi pamflet!

ma nije..kad bih odgovorila, dodatno bih se iskompromitirala..zato mučin :p

e a ne uklapaš se u ideologiju "spol je socijalni konstrukt", a ne moru ti reći da si neuka, 
critical error:)

aben wrote:

frakcija wrote:

aben wrote:haha
feministička propaganda; frakcija, pazi pamflet!

ma nije..kad bih odgovorila, dodatno bih se iskompromitirala..zato mučin :p

e a ne uklapaš se u ideologiju "spol je socijalni konstrukt", a ne moru ti reći da si neuka, 
critical error:)

a moran onda reč da nisam dovoljno dobar programer da bi konkurirala za dobru lovu...i moran reč da stalno moram učit sa neizvjesnim ishodom..hoće li to ikad donijeti materijalnu korist.. i moram reč da zapravo volim programirat..i da je programiranje zapravo sebično vrijeme koje posvećujem sebi..

eh,
jo bi, u skladu sa svojun ideolugijun, voli da naučiš čaviše čaprije, i da doš otkaz na uhljebničko mesto, i da na crno razviješ neku aplikaciju koja će mi ulipšati život, a jo i drugi kakao jo ćemo tebi plotiti i kućnu pomoćnicu i veliki bazen za kuće